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stonewolf
New Fanatic
| Joined: | Mon Dec 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 24 |
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Wed Dec 13th, 2006 02:56 am |
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Ok everyone loves a good joke so I will start But if you laugh you have to post one too.
A young minister was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave - side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.
The funeral was to be held in cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As he was not familiar with the backwoods area, he got lost and being like some of the rest of us did not stop and ask for directions.
He finally arrived an hour late. He saw the back hoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
He apologized to the workers for his tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where he saw the vault lid already in place. He assured the workers that he wouldn't hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. And the preacher began.
As he preached, some of the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", "Glory", and "Alleluia". Well, it kind of got him going and sort of got wound up and he preached like he'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations. He closed the lengthy service with a prayer, closed his bible and walked to his car. As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, he overheard one of the workers saying to another," I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for twenty years."
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shorty
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| Joined: | Sat Nov 11th, 2006 |
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Posted: Wed Dec 13th, 2006 02:27 pm |
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 that was funny, but I don't know any jokes. Sorry, never been good at telling them.
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stonewolf
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| Joined: | Mon Dec 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 24 |
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Thu Dec 14th, 2006 01:15 am |
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
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shorty
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Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 04:23 am |
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 that was a good one! Thanks for sharing!
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